Sunday, March 23, 2008

An old prayer...a new prayer

This is a prayer that I wrote many years ago and prayed daily at the beginning of each prayer time.

Addressed daily to Jesus:

I seek...
Your will, Lord,
Your humility,
Your love for others,
Your exposure of my sin,
Your humility and your will, I can't pray these enough,
Humility in all things,
Everything I am capable of is only through you, Lord,
Patience, Lord, while I seek your will,
Your refining fire, Lord,
Patience, Lord,
Your will,
Your walk, Lord,
Humility in my love for others,
Humility in my compassion and love for women,
Humility in my anticipation of what you have in store for me, Lord,
Humility in the work you give me,
To give glory to you in all I do!!
Humility in prayer, and my abilities,
The ability to pray instead of tear down.

Lord, help me to continue to pray, to seek awareness of your presence in humility and by your power, even, and especially when I feel well and happy, for all my well being and feelings regarding well being are a result of you.


Much of that is honorable, except for the whole I-can't-do-it-without-you-God part.

So my new prayer would be, as Legion Regalis put it here: What Comforts You In Times Of Trouble?, "a cry to all that is".

My Prayer - A cry to all that is

I seek...
To be humble,
To love others,
To harm none,
To make well thought out decisions,
To be accountable for my words and actions,
To better myself,
To be patient,
To be focused,
To seek truth in all I do,
To walk a path true to myself.
So let it be.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Easter Dinner

My friend Rick asked me to Easter Dinner at his Mother's house. We had a very nice time. 1st time I've bowed my head for grace since my de-conversion. Rick and the family are going to church tomorrow. He invited me to go. He never responded to my de-conversion letter, but this dinner invitation was very nice. It's funny that I was always the more spiritual one between the two of us. Now he's inviting me to church. It's funny how some things change.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Religion talk at work

Today at work I had someone tell me that they thought that Britney Spears and her other lost celebrity types needed prayer. I just kind of looked at him and didn't react. Then I received an email from a co-worker. It was a chain letter type thing.

   When you're down to nothing,
                                     GOD is up to something!


                                       Worry looks around,
                                        Sorry looks back,
                                         Faith looks up.

                        This angel is sent to you.
                        You must send her to 8 people including me.

                        In 8 minutes you will receive something you have
                        long awaited.
                        Have faith.

I ignored it. How do you respond to a benign thing like that? I don't think I would have responded even when I was a Christian.

It's going on three weeks since I came out about my Agnostic Atheism. Work has been slightly stressful, but other than that, I have never known such peace. I no longer have to struggle every day to believe in an imaginary God. Saying the God I believed in was imaginary doesn't mean that a real God can not exist. It just means that I do not hold to that belief any more and that I am still open to the idea of God.

I no longer have to believe in a book that damns people to hell for simply believing something other than what it teaches. I no longer have to hate the sin, but love the sinner. This phrase was used a lot in regard to the sin of homosexuality. Personally I think any sin that doesn't harm another person in some way is bullshit. Why the hell would God care if a man loves a man or a woman loves a woman?  isn't it the love that is the important part? Every day I wonder at this world and find something new to love. The world is truly a wonderful place, especially when one casts off the false belief that it is a fallen world and all it's inhabitants are evil sinners doomed for hell unless they believe in Jesus in a certain way to be determined by each denomination. What a crock of shit.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

A new description of my state of belief in God.

In a discussion with my new friend Joel, on Ray Comfort's Challenge Post, I've been thinking of the correct way to state my current belief about God. So, drum roll please...

I no longer believe in God as I once conceived of him when I was a Christian. I am an Agnostic Atheist.

I know at times I have mistakenly said I never believed in God and that was just me trying to come to terms with what I now believe. As much thought as has gone into my statements and into the letter I sent out, I still made some semantic errors. Please forgive the confusion.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Well, since I'm out.

Since I sent my letter to my family and friends and posted in in multiple places on the web, I feel free to identify myself. I am Mike aka Monolith The Merely Adequate (TMA). My real blog is, but I will still post all my doubts here. I suppose I should change the blog description to reflect my being a born again Atheist. Please note that all the posts posted by Questioning Christian, except for the last one, were posted when I was still a Christian.